That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
