Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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