Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Randomize
