Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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