I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
