When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
