if you like me you must not know who I am
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
