HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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