My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
