I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
