? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
