Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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