There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
