what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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