I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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