Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize