what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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