i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Randomize
