you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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