Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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