Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
