when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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