It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I am mentally ready for anal.
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