I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Randomize
