The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
