Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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