I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
