how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
