Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
