I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
