you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
