dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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