Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
