Dual....:-)
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
