No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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