i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
