God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
