Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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