I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
