Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
