I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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