There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
