butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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