In the future we'll all be gay
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
