he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
