READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just threw up on my dentist
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
