if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
