If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I look better un-naked...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
