ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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