dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She needs sedatives and a leash
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
