is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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