She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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