I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
