either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
