he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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