I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
