She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
