Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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