Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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