i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
