How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
