How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
