i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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